Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
