Dual....:-)
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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