Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize