If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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