i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
