dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
