"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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