actually, I'm a sock model
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
