how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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