i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
