Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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