Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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