At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Randomize
