Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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