So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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