Sry I called you an 8
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
