I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
