my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize