i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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