I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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