he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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