Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
