then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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