i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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