Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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