it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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