Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
