You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
