New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
