No awkward lesbian experiences without me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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