I puked a lego.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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