ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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