I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Found your dick twin last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
