Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize