Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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