Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
