there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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