I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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