At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
