I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So vagazzling was a success
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
