Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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