so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
