Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
