What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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