College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
