I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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