her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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