I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
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New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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