I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
