WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
