update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Come on in and take your pants off
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