how do flat chested girls get laid?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
