I wish my penis had an off switch
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
