just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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