He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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