You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Rumble strips road head = magical
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
