Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
