Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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