shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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