He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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