if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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