Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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