somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize