so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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