don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
