guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
