So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
