i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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